I went into the basketball court to play last week after a long time. That was maybe 2 years ago and the last time before that some other 2 years. There were a few times I’d gone and just made some hoops while a playing team is on a timeout but this time I really played and it was for just 10 minutes.
That 10 minutes made me learn more about myself. In my software development journey I’ve had to try new technologies (tools, frameworks, libraries) and I’ve recently been suffering from neophobia (Fear of trying new things) but I try anyway. I vehemently defeat the inertia to not do things and when beaten once it becomes a little easier with a lesser mental barrier.
The neophobia is caused by lack of confidence and that was exactly what I saw in myself on the basketball court. I got the ball just once from a pass and I was quite choked. I could have tried to drive-in like I would have some years ago but I just stood for a while then I looked at the rim and thought I could make a hoop and reconsidered that I’d only just gotten in the game and may piss the other guys off if I missed my shot. Eventually I passed and it was my biggest action in the game.
I saw a team mate in need for a screen and I only realized I should have gone for a screen after the ball was stolen by the opponent even though he didn’t ask. My game reflexes weren’t with me and I lacked the intuition to do the right things. It was the mental culprit for me not making a shot and not giving that screen.
A concerned lad couldn’t help but notice how bad I’d gotten since the last time he saw me play and asked “Have you been thunderstrucked?” which I replied to saying I’m yet to find who switched my talents but I knew to myself that I’d only let my talent slip away by not being consistent. I was a good player even though not the best. I could still use some coaching and more training back then but I always stood out in games I played. I’ve become a ghost now.
I got back home to compensate for the basketball failure by getting a few projects done on my computer. I’d realized that the reason for my neophobia is lack of CRIC (Confidence, Reflex, Intuition, and Consistency) pronounced creek. This isn’t an easy thing to gain in any field especially software development where imposter syndrome thrives, but with some will-power I got the CRIC.
I sought to demo some libraries I found interesting and it’s been easy trying different things on them. Now’s time for me to go get the CRIC in basketball games too.